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      <image:title>Blog - What Shape Are You? - The Overfunctioner</image:title>
      <image:caption>You survived by doing. You're the engine. The one who delivers, who holds it all together, who handles things so no one else has to. From the outside it looks like you’ve got it all together, and you’re often called the competent one. But somewhere along the way, doing became a way to avoid everything you don't want to feel. Stay busy enough and work hard enough that you can outrun all the emotions. Over time, you learned that being useful kept you safe, so you became extraordinarily useful.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - What Shape Are You?</image:title>
      <image:caption>The Overgiver You survived by giving. You're the one everyone leans on. You’re warm, generous, tuned in to what people need before they say it — it’s almost like magic! Your relationships matter deeply to you and you'd do anything for the people you love. But you’ve started to notice that you've built a life where your own needs come last, or don't get voiced at all. You didn’t start out with the desire to become invisible, but you learned at a young age that being needed was where safety and belonging reside. And who doesn’t want to feel safe and connected? The Cost: you give and give and give a bit more…but you’ve also started to feel resentment building up. You’re confused because you love caring for people but something feels off. You notice a sense of loneliness and isolation despite the relationships you’re pouring into. Here is the thing: being needed isn't the same as being known and experiencing connection. What’s Hiding Underneath: a part of you that's tired of being the strong one. You quietly crave being cared for the way you show up and care for others. But what would taking up that space even look like? And what would happen to your relationships if you stopped being the giver? The Next Step: this week, make an ask of someone you trust. Ask for something you desire. This might sound like: “Would you please grab me a coffee?” or “Would you run this errand with me? I’d love your company.” You’re allowed to have needs and to use your voice to advocate for yourself.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - What Shape Are You? - The Intellectualizer</image:title>
      <image:caption>You survived by understanding. You're the thoughtful one — the one with perspective, who sees every side and can explain your own patterns better than most therapists. In fact, I’m sure more than one therapist as told you that “You’re too self aware to need therapy!” Your mind is genuinely a gift. It's also where you go to be safe, because you’ve learned that if you can understand the why behind something it feels less painful. The Cost: a strange distance from your own life. You think about your emotions constantly and feel oddly detached from them, like you're watching yourself on a stage. You've collected all the insight but the relief you seek feels out of reach. What’s Hiding Underneath: a part of you that doesn't wants to feel carefree and alive. To feel things in your body, in real time, to have moments of levity and ease like you witness with others. The Next Step: when you catch yourself explaining a feeling, gently drop the why. Can you name the feeling and not overexplain it? Not provide a 5 paragraph essay about why and how come and where it originated? Instead see if you can identify the sensations.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - What Shape Are You? - The Perfectionist</image:title>
      <image:caption>You survived by getting it right. You're accomplished, polished, someone who clearly has it together. You hold yourself to a standard most people can’t meet. And no matter what you achieve, there's a voice that says it isn't enough, that you’re not there yet, that you should be further along by now. That you’ll feel better once you hit the next goal.</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2023-12-14</lastmod>
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    <lastmod>2026-03-20</lastmod>
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      <image:caption>Nicole Wetteman, Alex Elle, Tara Brach, Kristin Neff</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Also comes as an app.</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Bonnie J Weiss</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, Dr. SUe Johnson</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Steven C. Hayes</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Thriving in a World That Wasn’t Designed for You, Jenara Nerenberg</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself, Nedra Glover</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Lindsay Gibson</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Bethany Webster</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Dr. Kristin Neff</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Resource Hub - The Mindful Path to Self Compassion</image:title>
      <image:caption>Christopher Germer</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Resource Hub - In need of recalibration?</image:title>
      <image:caption>Download this free ebook which walks you through some of my favorite self-inquiry questions to gain clarity and action steps to activate transformation in your life today.</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2024-08-19</lastmod>
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    <lastmod>2022-11-13</lastmod>
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